“Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound, That saved a wretch like me –
I once was lost but now am found, Was blind, but now, I see.”
Despite this endless searching and constant confusion, I have always strongly felt the presence and the protection of God in me. As you can see by reading my story, He has saved me from big trouble and destruction more than once!
As I was more and more uncovering the deception of the New Age, I came across an article on the Christian website Unleavened Bread Ministries, explaining the true nature of the Bible (reproduce here in the appendix). In reading, I discovered the supernatural mathematical complexities the bible contained and I became completely, absolutely convinced, this most sacred book is indeed the Word of God. I believed that all Scripture is God-breathed (2 Tim 3:16). I know the article was a trigger for God’s grace to pour into me, because we can read or hear the truth many times without it ever registering in us or touching us, unless, of course, God has decided it is time for us to come out of the darkness.
Even though I had heard about the Bible codes before in New Age circles, I was deeply moved to read and learn of the incredibly complex Numeric pattern contained in the Bible. Those articles were a turning point for me and I became very motivated to read everything on the site from the ministry of David Eells, and his books, as well as the many dreams. Prophetic words and articles of other people contained on the website became a source of inspiration and true spiritual food. I discovered the truth and came to faith in Jesus Christ through His Gospel. For I am not ashamed of the gospel: for it is the power of God unto salvation to every one that believeth; Rom. 1:16
I experience a tremendous sadness realizing how much I have been deceived and how I had completely missed the boat all these years. I wept for several days, my heart filled with grief and sorrow. In that moment perhaps I had a glimpse of what Jesus felt in His isolation, when he cried aloud, “Father, why have You forsaken me?” after all those long years of searching in the dark, I felt I had completely wasted my life, missed my purpose, and there was no more time for me to catch up.
The godly pain I was feeling was tremendous and overwhelming and I repented and asked God’s forgiveness for all my sins. I reviewed all the things I had done in rebellion against God’s commandment and resolved from then on to follow His will and be faithful to His Word.
I had never studied the Bible but instead studied the many “bibles” of the New Age. I feel God had ordained me to be lost and He has now decided it is time for me to be reborn in His True Spirit. I can only guess that the purpose of this trial is to be better equipped and able to help other New-Agers like myself to discover the beautiful incredible Truth of the Gospel. I have heard the call of God to bring the truth to my dear New-Age friends and this book is God’s labor of love through me for all the good New-Age folks who are also caught in the great deception.
“Therefore come out from them and be separate, says the Lord. Touch no unclean thing, and I will receive you.” 2 Corinthians 6:17
Through this rebirth, I am dying while I am still alive, dying to my old self, my old ways of being, my personality, my identification to who I think I am, my cherished belief system and habitual emotional responses. There is much sorrow in letting go of all the things I perceived as being “me”. It is painful because there is much love I have invested in keeping myself alive.
But this old self is very much like an addiction, even though I know he has to go and I need to lose my old life to gain eternal life. Radical change is scary because I don’t really know what will replace this old persona and every fibre of my being is conditioned to resist this death. It is a natural response to resist destruction and to survive at all cost. Yet, I know the only way to a new birth is to die first. The only way to be truly reborn in Christ is to fist die to all my false identities. To die to myself while my body is alive, healthy, and functioning in the world as if nothing inside is happening is a strange experience. The world and my old self seem unreal and I am going back and forth with this illusion of me doing something for me and for the world, and me not being me anymore but an empty vessel filled with the Holy Spirit.
And they that are of Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with the passions and the lusts thereof. Gal. 5:24
I have to replace “the I want”, “I need”, “I desire”, the Me, Myself and I, this relentless tyrant which is the embodiment of Lucifer – I have to replace it with You Lord, what You want, need and desire, the embodiment of which is Jesus Christ. This is my aim and my understanding of the process. But this also has to go, I can’t be holding on to it because my concept of being filled with the Holy Spirit is not the real thing. It is only an idea or a “vague anticipation” that comes from having experienced glimpses of it. I only trust and have faith that eventually I will be filled with the Spirit of Christ Jesus.
The one Bible quote I relate to the most at the moment and keep in my mind as a guidance is, “I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I that live, but Christ living in me” ( Gal. 2:20). This is not new. I feel my all life has been a long, endless crucifixion. This is quite a statement to acknowledge that, even to myself. Aren’t happiness, joy, abundance, partnership, success, career, health and beauty synonymous of spiritual achievement? Aren’t we constantly being told that these achievements are the fruit of true communion with spirit? That they are a sign of spiritual maturity and enlightenment?
What spirit are we talking about here? And what kind of “enlightenment” is this? This is not the narrow way of Jesus Christ but the advertising promotion of the New Age. This is a world where we are supposed to be on top of things, a world that makes you feel a total failure if you are any less than a shining embodiment of Lucifer.
I feel, as a true Christian, I need to follow Jesus on the Cross. Jesus came and let Himself be crucified on a cross as an example. It is telling me: If you want to follow me and be a true disciple, let yourself be crucified; let your preconceived, conditioned images, attachment and love of yourself die. I am dying while I am alive, yet my body is healthy, feels vibrant and at times full of energy. This is making the dying process more difficult and more intense. I am intensely alive and I am intensely dying at the same time. How could this be?
Over half a century of living I have been pretending and believing I had achieved something, but what had I done, really? At first I felt, in the eyes of God, most probably nothing!, but now I know this is not so. I know I have fulfilled God’s purpose for my humble life. Other times I have no illusion about myself, having no choice but feeling the constant pain of being alive in this body. Dying alive is a skill. The tendency to self-destruction, body and all, is very strong. Many times I have wished to disappear. It is like walking on a tiny, narrow bridge with no ramp on the side, over a bottomless precipice. This surely must be what Jesus called “the narrow way”!!
How many of us actually have the guts to cross over?
In order to survive I have faked Life, I have told myself convenient lies, such as believing I was really making progress in spiritual evolution, going somewhere, some place of achievement called Enlightenment. This is such a monumental deception. There is no end to this striving. I know this to be a “cul de sac” which means in French “the bottom of the bag” or a “dead end street”.
There is no way out of this pursuit, nor is there any outcome besides being permanently lost. Its very nature makes you keep going in endless spirals. Once you get to the top of the spiral, you are re-cycled at the bottom of it and the process starts all over again. This movement gives the illusion of achievement but in paying close attention, I discovered over the years, I was going nowhere. It is like entering one of those Chartres Cathedral labyrinths (which ironically have become a New Age symbol) and never finding the way out. The interesting, most revealing thing about those labyrinths people walk, is that you have to come out the way you came in! Once you get to the centre of it, you have to turn and walk all the way back to the entrance. There is no other way to get out!
Don’t you think it is an appropriate metaphor that describes perfectly the very nature of the new-age deception?
The New Age is like a great, big, huge labyrinth: you will never find the truth, never find God in remaining inside of it. You need to walk out of it completely and ask God through His Grace to cleanse you of all the darkness and deception you gathered up there along the way.
Throughout Scripture, from Genesis to Revelation, God tells us that there is but one God: Father, Son, Holy Spirit. Three Essences, one God. The fundamental truth of this Biblical revelation that has brought much persecution of Christians since the time of Jesus is simply this: God Almighty, the Maker of heaven and earth, and of all things visible and invisible, is exclusive. All other “gods” are man-made and counterfeit. While men and women claim they are “gods” and “goddesses,” in reality they are blaspheming the One and only true God.
I am the LORD; there is no other God. I have prepared you, even though you do not know me, so all the world from east to west will know there is no other God. I am the LORD, and there is no other. I am the one who creates the light and makes the darkness. I am the one who sends good times and bad times. I, the LORD, am the one who does these things. Open up, O heavens, and pour out your righteousness. Let the earth open wide so salvation and righteousness can sprout up together. I, the LORD, created them.” Isaiah 45:5-8
The human race in its present condition is ever more falling away from this simple truth and is in a state of degeneration removed from true spirituality and true Salvation.